THE SYSTOCRAT PAPERS

Fellow Systocrats:

Break out your EV projectors and your miniature American flags - election day is finally here!  As we all get ready to hit the polls, check out these suggested responses to some of the more nefarious right-wing talking points that you may encounter at the polls tomorrow.

1. OBAMA WANTS TO "REDISTRIBUTE THE WEALTH:" What's wrong with redistributing the wealth?  Every government and every economic model designed by humankind "redistributes" resources in one way or another, including laissez-faire capitalism.  Over the last eight years, the wealth of the middle class has been accelerated upward and "redistributed" to the upper class by various means, most notably (at least for me) the Iraq war, which diverted gazillions of our tax dollars into the hands of wealthy private corporations with ties to the Bush administration.  Maybe instead of "redistributing" the wealth to these rich turkeys, we could spread some of it around for the benefit of the other 99% of America's citizens.  Just an idea . . . 

2. OBAMA IS A SOCIALIST: Obama has repeatedly stated, both in his book The Audacity of Hope and on the campaign trail over the last two years, that he is a firm believer in the free market.  At worst, that makes him an advocate of a mixed economy, i.e. something akin to the tenuous compromise between outright socialism and laissez-faire capitalism that has persisted since FDR's New Deal. 

Obama is no more a socialist than Bill Clinton.  Furthermore (I have to say this), liberal economic policies get a bad rap in this country, mostly because wealthy Americans have been working hard to stigmatize these policies for generations so that they can hold on to as much of their wealth as possible.  The fact is that most of the countries that rank higher than the U.S. on the Human Development Index have much more aggressively liberal economic policies than the U.S.  In other words, these are countries "in which people can [better] develop their full potential and lead productive, creative lives in accord with their needs and interests." Think about it.

3. OBAMA WANTS TO RAISE TAXES: Obama's proposed tax plan cuts taxes for 95% of working families in this country.  Period.

4. OBAMA IS A MUSLIM: He's not.  Furthermore, if you think that being a Muslim is unacceptable in and of itself, congratulations!  You are a victim of the Bush/Cheney fear-propaganda machine, and somewhat of a bigot.  Oh, and by the way, he's not a Muslim.

5. DUBYA DIDN'T RUIN OUR ECONOMY, JIMMY CARTER DID: The obvious implication here is that Democrats in the White House will screw things up.  This is a new one for me - just heard it tonight at my local pizza shop while picking up dinner.  JIMMY CARTER?  ARE YOU F-ING KIDDING ME???

I haven't heard that crap since Reagan ran for office in 1980.  The truth is that Carter dealt with out-of-control inflation caused by deficit spending during the Vietnam War and the OPEC oil crisis of 1973.  You might recall the OPEC crisis.  Yeah, that's the event that unraveled Keynesian economic theory, which had held sway since the 1930s, by demonstrating that the internal controls on our economy instituted by the New Deal were inadequate to remedy the effects of a global economic crisis.  Not Jimmy Carter's fault by a long shot. 

6. OBAMA'S TAX PLAN WILL PUT SMALL BUSINESSES OUT OF BUSINESS:  Obama proposes a return to Clinton-era tax rates, with a slight tax hike for small business owners making over $250,000.  McCain claims that this will result in increased taxes for the majority of small business owners.  Simply not true - most small business owners would see no change at all in their taxes, and many would see a tax cut. 

7.  OBAMA PALS AROUND WITH TERRORISTS: BILL AYERS??  YES HE WAS A TERRORIST IN THE 60s WHEN OBAMA WAS A SMALL CHILD!  OBAMA KNOWS THE RECENT, RELEVANT INCARNATION OF MR. AYERS.  YOU KNOW, THE RESPECTED UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS PROFESSOR AND CHICAGO'S 1997 CITIZEN OF THE YEAR. 

BY THE WAY, DOESN'T MCCAIN PAL AROUND WITH G. GORDON LIBBY?  NOW THERE'S A TERRORIST FOR YOU!!  (Okay, I'll stop yelling . . .).  

8. OBAMA WANTS TO "CONCEDE DEFEAT IN IRAQ:" Absolute, utter nonsense.  McCain should have learned from his experience in Vietnam that you cannot defeat an enemy that you cannot find. After Vietnam, no military force facing the awesome might of the U.S. is ever going to present itself on the battlefield to be conveniently annihilated.  In Vietnam, we learned the hard way that it is possible for a disciplined guerilla force to defeat a military superpower, but that it's nearly impossible for the reverse to occur. That's why we paid Osama Bin Laden to draw the USSR into a Vietnam-like quagmire in Afghanistan, and that's why even General Petraeus won't talk about Iraq in terms of "victory" or "defeat." 

9. OBAMA HAS THE MOST LIBERAL VOTING RECORD IN THE SENATE: What does that even mean?  Seriously?  Can anyone explain what this means in objective terms?  

ONE FINAL NOTE - AS AN AMERICAN CITIZEN, YOU HAVE A FUNDAMENTAL CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT TO VOTE, SO DON'T TAKE ANY CRAP AT THE POLLS!!!   

Call 1-866-OURVOTE to report any irregularities at the polls.

To report voting issues to the media, call 1-877-GOCNN08.